"Best 12 Bucks I Ever Spent."

So, watched one of my all time favorite movies last night, Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man, and felt a bit better after that...well, better in a gotta-get-outta-here kind of way. How could you not after one of THE best opening sequences of a movie ever - Rourke on his custom designed Harley riding through the desert to the tune of Bon Jovi's 'Wanted Dead or Alive'. Looked great on my LCD computer monitor with the lights all off and the speakers turned up. Luckily my ears were good enough for that - nothing quite like the sound of a Harley... Loved the rain today...always have like the rain - it beats the sun. Really poured when I drove in to work...but what's with drivers nowadays, anyway? A little rain and people start merging onto the expressway doing 50 klicks. Going too slow is sometimes just as hazardous as going too fast. People coming up behind expecting them to merge at flow speed have to slam on the brakes and those trying to merge as well behind the slowpoke don't know what the heck the driver's doing and have to now merge into an even tighter spot thanks to the newly created bottle neck. As my driver instructor told me many years ago - "If you're gonna go, Go. Don't hesitate halfway through." Elsewhere, from the "That's going to leave a mark" files, did anyone see diver Chelsea Davis try an inward 2 1/2 somersault in the tuck position and kinda misjudge it? I've only seen the pics and read about it on the 'net, but man, that had to hurt. She wound up smacking the bridge of her nose on the edge of the diving board, and gravity did the rest. Guess she was a bloody mess when they took her out of there, but only required some stitches and didn't even break her nose. Lucky girl, 'cause that could have been much worse. I'm surprised though that it doesn't happen more often. If you've ever watched these divers, they cut it mighty close sometimes. I guess the odds finally caught up with the risk... Oh, and before I sign off for this post, a shout out to Vicki B. (who put up a nice reply to the Coffee post a few back) and who is hopefully currently enjoying a vacation in southern Ontario. We're all glad you're here, but I hope you can find some fun in the excellent timing of landing in what feels like the humidex capital of the world - home to mosquitos, heat, quilts, longjohns (the kind you eat), and the occasional dachwaglay (that's gotta be close - Google wasn't much help, and I know I got the roof part right...). Anyway, need to go home now and ring myself out...

We Won! We Won!

Canada wins dumbest government at World Stupidity Awards; Bush wins one award - Yahoo! News Here's a rundown of the winners: -The Canadian government secured a surprise win Friday, beating out such luminaries as Iran, North Korea and the United States, for the dumbest government of the year at the World Stupidity Awards. The Gomery inquiry into the sponsorship scandal secured the award for Canada, said Spence. -U.S. President George W. Bush may not have led the dumbest government, but he was honoured with the award for the Stupidest Statement of the Year after telling a news conference: "They never stop thinking of ways of harming America, and neither do we." -Hotel heiress Paris Hilton won in two categories. She was named Stupidist Woman of the Year and was star of The Simple Life, which was named Stupidest Show of the Year. -Conservative columnist Ann Coulter won the award as Stupidest Man of the Year. She beat out Bush, U.S. Senator John Kerry, NHL commissioner Gary Bettman and Players Association director Bob Goodenow, and former Ukrainian president Leonid Kuchma. -Ashlee Simpson's lip-synching performance on Saturday Night Live for Dumbest Moment of the Year; -Alien vs. Predator for Stupidest Movie of the Year; -Crystal meth for Stupidest Trend of the Year; -North Korean dictator Kim Jong for Stupidity Award for Reckless Endangerment of the Planet; -Fox News for Media Outlet Which Has Best Furthered Ignorance; -The World Stupidity Awards for Stupidest Award Show of the Year. The World Stupidity Awards were decided by worldwide Internet voters. The third annual awards were overseen by the Academy Recognizing Stupidity Everywhere (ARSE), which are "basically a bunch of morons," said Spence My favorite had to be the Stupidest Man of the Year award winner - Ann Coulter. That's like two burns in one award! Classic...

"I am but mad north-northwest; when the wind is southerly I know a hawk from a handsaw"

Well, finally got around to watching the classic movie North by Northwest last night. Excellent flick. Had action, drama, romance, and humor. Some of his one liners were pretty funny. The cool thing is that I got into the story to the extent I was going along on the ride with Thornhill (Cary Grant), and didn't even try to guess who the undercover agent was until it dawned on me minutes before they actually revealed it in the movie. That's unusual for me, as I am usually trying to figure things out ahead of time. All the way through, I never really knew what was going to happen next, nor did I care as I was happy just to go along for the ride. Cary Grant and Eva Marie Saint were excellent in their roles, bringing the viewer along for the ride. Plus, the '50's cars were great to look at too. No small wonder this is considered a classic, and maybe even one of the best films of all time. Its a great story too. Simplistic in setup and payoff, with a great Hitchcockian McGuffin thrown in with the microfilm that is never revealed for whats on it, and just a great, realistic ride from start to finish. If you haven't seen it yet, definately go out of your way to make sure you do.

Coffee or T (and A)?

Well, its been a hard few days...things are rolling in what could be a new direction for me, so if all goes well I'll blog whats been going on after the dust settles... Did you catch (how could you miss it?) the hubbub over the game GTA3: San Andreas? Apparently, there are viewable sex scenes of the playable character and his "girlfriends" to be accessed in the game with a mod patch that unlocks them. The patch is known as the "hot coffee" patch, which I find hilarious... Of course, politicians (namely Hillary Clinton) saw an opportunity to tighten the screws on censorship even more and jumped on the bandwagon calling for stricter rules, and boards, and commitees, and fines, and legistlation, and basically the government sticking its nose in even further into What. You. Are. Doing. With. Your. Own. Life. The game was already rated Mature, by the ESRB, which puts ratings on all games. This means that if you're playing the game, you should be old enough to already know about sex, right and wrong, real life versus video games, and have a healthy growing cynicism towards all things related to government. If you're playing the game and you're not old enough to know about all that, then somebody's parents are asleep at the wheel. That's the real issue here, isn't it? People want the government and legislation to take care of their parenting for them. Instead of teaching and guiding children to make their own decisions based on knowledge and a moral code, and then keeping a watchful eye on what said children are doing, people would rather have a thousand 'Cybernanny' programs installed on their computers so they don't have to do any of that while the kid surfs the net in their bedroom. The weird thing about all this is, the uproar on GTA is about the hidden sex scenes that you have to put an effort into to see of PIXELATED, computer generated characters. It's not even real sex between real people! All this flack about the sex and I don't seem to be hearing much about the violence you can inflict in the game. So, the message is that playing a character who can shoot, stab, beat, drive over, and do just about anything to any character in the game is ok? However, watching that character have sex in pixelated form is going to be the end of civilization? I always thought this was a little weird. Violence in media forms (movies, music, games, etc) gets a much easier pass in today's age than sex. Everybody gets panicky when sex is involved in any form. However, in real life, having consensual sex with someone is a completely natural act and a big part of life and the ongoing of the species. Last I heard, perforating someone with a machine gun is not a natural act. Isn't this whole sex / violence hoopla backwards? Also, from what I've heard, it's an American (or Western) thing. Europe is different, in that sex is much more acceptable in the various media, but there are harder rules on violence...could be wrong on that though. Anyway, it just seems that people are getting bent out of shape over the wrong things. Also, it's not the governments job to make sure your kids turn out well and don't see things that are too much for them at impressionable ages. It's the parents job. A demanding and difficult one to be sure, but it comes with the territory. I don't have kids, nor do I ever want to. However, I know there is no bigger responsiblity on earth than to raise children, and it doesn't seem to me that enough people are considering all the angles, pressures, and responsibility before diving in and enlarging the gene pool. If the government wants to get involved in maintaining kids, maybe they should get involved ahead of the curve and try maintaining parents. You need a license to drive a car, a license to shoot a gun, collateral to buy a house, but anyone can have a kid without any prerequisites whatsoever. Something odd about that, I tell ya... Anyway, end rant ;-)

Play Something Country...

So, I’m sitting here doing my usual Saturday night misery thing, waiting on my body as it slowly repairs itself from the week, thinking about stuff, and watching CMT though not really paying attention to it when I see an old Dwight Yoakam video come on of “It Only Hurts Me When I Cry.” Great tune, cool video. So, I tune in, and turn it up. Then, while I’m enjoying this tune, what comes on the screen but a f$%#&*g Burger King ad!?! Sure, its just a banner on the bottom, but I don’t want to see it, I don’t want to read it, and sure don’t want to see it over imposed onto the screen during a classic Dwight Yoakam video. I don’t eat at Burger King, and after that, I’m sure not going to. Luckily, I have the Dwight Yoakam DVD of videos, so I can enjoy the tune anytime I want without having to endure crappy ads for greasy, processed, fried food pushing, heart attack inducing, corporations while I listen to my tear in the beer, tried and true country music… Then, the Top Twenty comes on CMT, and the list starts off with Brooks and Dunn’s new video for the song Play Something Country. I couldn’t agree more with the sentiment, but the irony is the song is anything but country. Its some kind of over rocked spectacle featuring the duo singing in a bar while a bunch of choreographed dancing girls in chaps strut their stuff in front of the stage. Now, I’m not deep enough to pretend I’m not shallow to the point of enjoying the view of the dancing girls…on mute. But what is all that doing in a video for a rocking song called Play Something Country that even references George Strait? Man, what happened to Brooks and Dunn? They put out some classic country tunes on their few first albums, but it’s been awhile since I’ve heard one of their tunes that really clicked with me… On the plus side, though, I’m giving Toby Keith’s latest album a spin here and really pleasantly surprised at how good it is. There are some really good country tunes on it including a great tune called “She Ain’t Hooked On Me No More” that’s a duet with Merle Haggard. This album seems to be a bit of a departure from Toby’s last few “bombast” tunes, which is a welcome relief. I thought he had become a one-note act, but apparently there’s more to him…who knew?

Feelin' Old...

I ain’t as good as I once was, My, how the years have flown But there was a time, back in my prime, When I could really hold my own But if you wanna fight tonight Guess those boys don’t look all that tough I ain’t as good as I once was, But I’m as good once, as I ever was. I used to be hell on wheels Back when I was a younger man Now my body says, “You can’t do this boy,” But my pride says, “Oh yes you can…” I ain’t as good as I once was, That’s just the cold hard truth… May not be good as I once was, But I’m as good once, as I ever was. As Good As I Once Was by Toby Keith

Cooter Speaks

Yahoo! Movies: Movie News - Well, I've been waiting to hear anything from the original cast about this new movie. Now, Ben Jones, the former "Craaaazy Cooter" on the Dukes of Hazzard TV series, has spoken out against the new Dukes movie coming in August. Basically, he calls it an insult to the original cast and show and what it stood for. Here's some quotes: "Basically, they trashed our show," said Jones, who now lives in the mountains of Washington, Va. "It's one thing to do whatever movie they want to do, but to take a classic family show and do that is like taking "I Love Lucy" and making her a crackhead or something." Jones said he read a script of the movie, which is scheduled to be released next month, and that it contained profanity, "constant sexual innuendo and some very clear sexual situations." On Wednesday, Jones wrote an open letter to fans on his web site, cootersplace.com, urging them to stay away. "From all I have seen and heard, the "Dukes" movie is a sleazy insult to all of us who have cared about the "Dukes of Hazzard" for so long ... ," Jones wrote. "Unless they clean it up before the August 5th release date I would strongly recommend that true blue Dukes fans hold their noses and pass this one up." Well, based on the trailer and knowing who the director is, I can't say as I'm surprised. I cringed when I heard the director of the movie Super Troopers was making the Dukes movie. Super Troopers was funny on its own, but to do that kind of treatment to the Dukes movie was off base. Then, when the only casting call they got right was Willie Nelson as Uncle Jesse, things really started looking bleak. Then came the trailer. It looks fun, lots of good General Lee action, but it looks like an alternate universe version of the Dukes. I guess we just need to think of this as a much worse version of the Coy and Vance episodes...

Here and There...

Well, Tom Cruise has started filming Mission Impossible 3 for a May 5/06 release after a heck of a lot of haggling before the deal was put in place. That collective silence you hear is a whole lotta people not caring… Willie Nelson is releasing a Reggae album. That’s interesting by itself, but also the fact that Walmart has censored the cover art and will sell a version that doesn’t show a drawing of marijuana. Weird, I never thought of Walmart as a politically correct institution. Where else can you find a megalomaniac corporation that regularly forces shutdowns of Mom and Pop stores in smaller areas and puts hundreds of people out of work so they don’t have to face a union all the while selling Cheese, Pants, Toilet Paper, Guns and Ammo all in one convenient location? To paraphrase a famous Waylon Jennings lyric, “Don’t y’all think this [PC Crap’s] done got out of hand?”….. Read a review of a Rascal Flatts concert. Here’s my favorite quote: “A closing run of big ballads seemed endless. One had to wonder how things could get more tedious. Then, came the encore: an awful rock medley….the worst offender, "Born in the USA," as DeMarcus asked whether the audience was proud to be American. These dunderheads don't have a clue that Bruce Springsteen’s song is about a Vietnam veteran who's been screwed. Rascal Flatts makes Toby Keith sound deep.” As for the Boss’s song, if you’re going to cover somebody else’s tune, you’d better understand it. Also, I thought that last line was really funny. I’m surprised the reviewer didn’t find a way to slam the Dixie Chicks as well… In sequels nobody asked for news, there is talk of a Hollow Man 2 and Road House 2-Last Call. Neither will probably star any of the people from the originals and it isn’t clear yet whether they’ll be straight to DVD or not. I’m betting they will be… Later

Mr. Clean and Dr. Pepper...

Hmmm, no wonder insomniacs have clean houses. I couldn’t sleep, so I stumbled out of bed way too early this morning and decided to do something. After exercising, I cleaned the place. However, that didn’t help my ringing ears or my ability, or non-ability as it were, to sleep. I do, however, have only current content in the fridge now… Have you seen the commercial for Dr. Pepper? Hilarious…it features the song “I Would Do Anything for Love” by Meatloaf as we see this guy doing all kinds of unmanly things for his girlfriend. However, when they’re on the couch watching TV and she takes his Dr. Pepper for a drink…it’s over! As Meatloaf sings “I would do anything for love…but I won’t do that…” he bolts and goes running down the street…while she looks on in bewilderment…funny stuff… So, the Fantastic Four pulled in 56 million at the box office this weekend and went number 1…let me rephrase that – went to number 1. Interesting, considering it pretty much got slammed by the critics. I heard Michael Chiklis was a standout in the role of The Thing, though. I guess the high gross will be good for continued comic book movies, but it may also give Fox the continued idea that doing things half-assed on comic book movies is ok cause the public won’t know the difference. I guess only us fanboys will. Just start reading about the train wreck that X3 appears to be headed for…

Here and There...

Great quote from Johnny Depp: "Everyone is entitled to think what they want, even while being violently wrong." It applies to a lot of things, but he was talking about comparisons of his Willy Wonka character in the upcoming Chocolate Factory movie to Michael Jackson. The movie trailer is kinda creepy, but I don’t think it’s Michael Jackson creepy… When you’re a rapper, and you go by the name Notorious B.I.G., it makes for some confusing headlines. I.e. – Mistrial Declared in Notorious B.I.G. Case. As I am not a rap fan at all, and wasn’t following the case, when I first read this I thought: “Who the heck is B.I.G. and why is his case so notorious?” Obviously that was the wrong train of thought. I really don’t think his case is notorious yet, whoever he is. Ernest Lehman died at the age of 89. He was the screenwriter of Alfred Hitchcock’s classic thriller North by Northwest. I have yet to see the full film, but it is one that is high on my list. Especially since it was referenced several times in Due South… London won the 2012 Summer Olympics, in an upset win over Paris. I really couldn’t care less either way, as long as the Olympics stay out of my neck of the woods. Traffic is bad enough, thank-you. So, um, Congrats London – way to go… The Dukes of Hazzard flick will still be in theatres in August. Warner Bros studio ponied up 17.5 million to settle a lawsuit. That’s more than they paid for the actors, apparently. The only good news about this movie is that they got the General Lee right and Willie Nelson as Uncle Jesse is driving a Dodge Ram. Jessica Simpson portraying Daisy Duke is just so wrong it should be illegal. The official website has been updated with new graphics and lots of ‘Coming Soon’ buttons… Looked at a bunch of new pictures for the movie The Island on Yahoo Movies. Its out July 22. The trailer and pics look like this flick could be really intriguing. I have heard, though, that there is basically a lot of running and chasing in the film. Oh well, even if the movie is a bomb, I can think of worse ways to spend a couple hours than watching Scarlett Johansson running around… And finally, Canadian PM Paul Martin actually stuck to his guns and didn’t promise the world to singer Bono when he was pressed to up Canadian Foreign Aid to a certain amount in a certain time frame. I don’t usually give props to any Politician, but way to go Martin for not bowing to pressure from a Rock Star - of all people - to spend our hard earned tax dollars out of country. Here’s a couple quotes: Bono: "He's very difficult to deal with because he won't agree to things that he doesn't believe he can deliver, although that is very frustrating and annoying and infuriating," Bono told reporters while standing next to Martin. Martin: "We will ultimately (reach) the 0.7 percent, but we're not going to do it... until we can basically say to Canadians 'Here's how we're doing it and here's when we're going to do it and there are no caveats and conditions'," Martin said Nice quote, Bono. Basically you’re saying if someone doesn’t agree to your line of thinking and promise to do something they don’t think they can deliver, you call that infuriating. I call it common sense. Geez, Bono, you sound like some kind of over-privileged, pampered rock star or something…oh wait… Now, if Martin could just concentrate on not wasting the tax dollars he’s getting from us poor working stiffs already, maybe we could get somewhere… Later.

Kidney Beans...

So, did the checkup on the kidney again...wasn't great results, tho I wasn't surprised. Got to get more blood work done later in the week to see if the toxin rise was a fluke, dehydration, or something worse. I'm not going to worry about it yet - been down this road too many times to panic - I'll just drink like a camel and hope for the best... While I was there, I proferred a question to the staff - If you've had a transplant, can you still sign a donor card to be a donor for other organs, or would they have been damaged by the drugs? I mean, my heart, liver, and lungs are all still pretty good...couldn't somebody get some use out of them? To my great surprise, they all responded the same - "That's a great question. I don't think anyone's asked that before." What the? You gotta be kidding me...I can't be the first to ponder that. The "unofficial" answer was yes, sign the donor card, but it wasn't a concrete answer. I can kind of understand tho...this staff deals with the other side of transplants - the recovery and progress. They don't do transplant selection. Still, kinda odd... Nobody said anything about my BP, so I'm going back to half the dosage again and see if I can straighten out my ears. Life sucks when you've got a 747 turbine engine going in your head and you can't shut it off. Again, though, been down this road way too many times to count, and so far I've always made it back... Anyway, got to go drink some more...got two days to soak this kidney...bottoms up!

Claim Your Prize

"There were too many parrots around here. And it wasn't just the birds." That was the phrase the Original LRU gave me to work with, and an original phrase too. So, here's the story as the prize, as promised. It went a little longer than a short, short story, but there you go. When I read the phrase, it was kinda funny, but I instantly thought of a dark noir story with someone saying something like that in thoughts or voice over. So that's what this is, hope you enjoy. "Goodbye, Angie" by Eaglewing So, just how did I come to be standing in a pet store on the corner of North and 5th? I certainly wasn't looking to become a new owner of an aquatic or four-legged money soaker. Truth be told, it was because the dang phone rang. I really shouldn't have agreed to come. I shouldn't have answered the phone. But what the hell, I guess I'm just a sucker for good looking redheads with sad stories. Either that, or I'm a bigger fool than I thought. But then, what are you supposed to do when the dame that ripped your heart out calls you up out of the blue, and before hanging up, tells you she needs your help, she's desperate, and to meet her in the bird section of Flusher's Pet Shop. I knew it was the owner's name, but considering they did sell fish, they probably should give serious thought to changing it. Maybe that explained the poor business they were doing and the fact I was the only one here. She was late, which didn't surprise me in the least. Some things never change. I had seen all I cared to of the various domesticated-for-your-enjoyment animal life this place had to offer and was thinking of leaving. Then the door chime sounded, and she walked in one hip at a time - all doe-eyed vulnerability and an air of knowing how to use it. Damn. I shouldn't have answered the phone. "Ellis, I'm so glad to see you!" she began breathlessly. "I wasn't sure you'd come." "What do you want, Angie? I don't have a lot of time." "No hello? No kiss for old times?" she looked up at me with that look of hers. It used to work, but that was many long nights and many whiskey bottles ago. "No. Old times got me here. They won't keep me here. The truth will do just fine." "You've changed." "You haven't. Let's get on with it Angie." "Fine. Play it your way." I felt the temperature drop, just a bit. "There are some men after me. They think I have something that can get some people in trouble. Important people. I don't have it and don't know what exactly they're looking for, but they don't believe my story. I saw your P.I. ad in the phone book and couldn't believe my luck. You know the rest." "Not really. What exactly do want me to do?" "Protect me. Get them off my back. Do whatever it is you P.I.'s do to get people out of trouble!" I gave her an exasperated look and noted the door open again ushering four people through. Three men, one woman. They were too old for pets, and too young to be anything but trouble. The leather, hard looks, greasy hair, and the not unexpected holster shaped bulges told me they weren't here for the guppies. The woman asked the clerk something, then they all headed for our end of the shop. "C'mon," I grabbed Angie's arm. "Time to fly this coop." I wasn't too keen on helping her, but it looked like I was in this now whether I liked it or not. We walked calmly past a row of bird cages and headed for the back door. I was disappointed at what I found. The door was locked. Sealed closed actually. Looked like the only way out was the way we came in. Not good. "What now?!" exclaimed Angie. "You gotta get me out of here!" "I'm working on it," I muttered. I grabbed her hand and headed back the way we came. I turned the corner, and there was the foursome at the other end of the aisle. Nothin' but a row of squawking birds in between. "No more running, Angie. Give it to us now." spoke the woman. "Give it to us now. Give it to us now." squawked a parrot halfway down the aisle. "Shut up!" a thug yelled. "Shut up! Shut up!" the parrot shot back. "Shut up!" Thug. "Shut up!" Parrot. The rest of us watched in confused amusement as the thug and parrot continued their war of words. I didn't like where this was going. I figured me and the parrot had the only level heads in the room. Then the woman led two of the thugs our way, closing the distance. I'd had enough. I was starting to feel claustrophobic. There were too many parrots around here. And it wasn't just the birds. I gave Angie a soft push back and stepped forward to meet the threat head on. I'd have to be fast, since I wasn't packing heat. Thug 1 reached under his coat, but I got to him first. A hard backhanded chop to his larynx and a punch to the gut had him on the floor desperately sucking wind. I swung my right hand out, smashing across the face of Thug 2, before spinning around and back kicking him in the gut. He went down, smacking his head against the shelf and was out cold. I turned again and stopped cold as I took a good look down the wrong end of a Colt .45. "Nice moves," purred the woman, voice soft as silk. Then, in a much colder voice, "Kill him, Burt." I didn't hesitate. I grabbed the gun, and Burt and I struggled to gain control of it. Somehow, two shots rang out, hurting neither Burt or I as I fought to get the gun out of his grasp. I sensed an opportunity, and rammed my elbow up, under Burt's chin. I heard something crack, and Burt went limp, falling to the ground. I took proper control of the Colt, and turned to find the next threat. There was none. One shot had found the woman. She was on the floor, quite dead and bleeding out. The other shot had found Thug 1, also quite dead. Thug 2 was still out cold and Burt's head was at a wrong angle to his body, dead from a broken neck. I wasn't going to shed a tear for any of them, but still, this wasn't the way I had wanted this to go. I looked back to Angie, and saw her crawling out from behind the shelf corner where she had hidden. She had dropped her purse and the contents were scattered over the floor. I walked over, knelt down, and started to help her gather things up. "You ok?" I asked. She nodded. I put some things back in her purse, then stopped as my hand closed over a roll of film. "What's this?" "Nothing, just some pictures I had forgotten to develop." She tried to play it cool, but her eyes gave it away. She reached out to take it, but I didn't give. We both got to our feet. "This is what they were looking for, isn't it Angie?" She did nothing. "What exactly is on this?" "What do you think? It's my ticket out of here. That's worth a lot of money to some very rich people. Come on, we can share it! Just give it to me." "No Angie. Three people died here tonight, and I killed one of them. All because of you and what's on this roll of film. No, it ends here. I'm not looking forward to it, but I'm not worried about me. This was self defense, and that camera up there will prove it. Now, the way I see it, you've got two choices. Stay, face the music, and get clear of this the right way, or start running and don't look back. I'm not going to stop you if you want to run...for old times sake." She looked at me for a long minute. Then she took a step backward, and I knew she had already made up her mind. "I know what you think of me, Ellis, and maybe you're right. But I'm sorry about this, I really am. But I'm not going to stay." "I know Angie. It's not your style. But keep this in mind - Don't call me again. Don't come back here again. Don't try to use old times again. 'Cause from now on, when I think of old times, I'll be thinking of tonight. It's been a real trip babe, but it's over." "Good bye, Ellis." She turned and walked out the door. I watched her go. "Good bye, Angie." I felt an odd sense of relief for having finally said the words. "Good bye, Angie." the persistent parrot echoed. I smiled in spite of myself. I pulled out my cell phone to call the cops, and it rang in my hand. I knew I really shouldn't answer the phone. "Hello?" The End.

You're Kiddin' Me - The Littlest Hobo?!

Well, Canada Day is over, and so is the quiz. Hats off to the Original LRU for some excellent Google work in getting almost all of them right. The missed question was #8, and the answer is Billy Bishop. However, the Original LRU did get both bonus questions right, including pointing out a controversy about who shot down the Red Baron that I did not know about. Also, he tossed in a short French lesson, got bonus points for the "Getting Married in Buffalo Jump" mention, and landed an archaic Littlest Hobo reference. So, average that together with the missed #8 and the minus points for spelling Spenser wrong once :-) , and I think he earned the win anyway. So, with the modified win, I'll give you the modified prize. You can give me a phrase, and I'll write a short, short story around it. Good work and congrats. Maybe next quiz, you'll get'em all. ;-)

Oh, Canada?

Well, um, happy birthday to the Great White North. Let's see how much money we can blow on fireworks and beer. All I know is that I don't have to go to work, so by all means, lets par-tay... Borrowing an idea from the blog Hail From the Chief (the Modesto Intern Wars posts are very funny), here is a quiz for you all to stretch your cerebrum's frontal lobe. Being today is Canada Day, it's very Canadian-centric... By the way...the first person to post the correct answers wins...and what do you win, you may be asking? Well...let's see...what have I got here...um, no, not that...oh, here we go...how about a big pile of Nothing!! Just kidding. How about this - if you get all the answers right, you get to give me a phrase or sentence and I'll write a short story around it. For each bonus question you get right, you can add another item for me to include. No guarantee on quality or length of story :) How's that for a prize? Bet you're wishing you would have stuck with the nothing, eh? So, there you go - let's get out there and raise those Google shares! Canada Day Quiz 1. Name the Canadian Comic Book Superhero that went by the name "Patch" while in Madripoor. 2. What Legendary Canadian singer, songwriter, cowboy, and rancher wrote and sang the song Fifty Years Ago? 3. What does C'est La Vie mean? 4. Robin Lee also cut a version, but what Canadian rocker is most famous for the song "Black Velvet"? 5. Name the first Canadian inducted into the National Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown. 6. Name this Canadian actress who has starred opposite a Mountie while playing a Bounty Hunter, starred opposite a certain Boston PI playing his psychiatrist girlfriend, and also starred opposite a Ford while playing the First Lady on a highjacked presidential flight. Bonus points if you can name the movies / shows as well. 7. What Canadian city was Wayne Gretzky born in? 8. Name the famous Canadian WWI pilot who was the Commander of the First Canadian Air Force. Bonus Question - Name another Canadian Pilot, flying a Sopwith Camel, who shot down the famous Red Baron. 9. How many millimeters in 13.8% of a meter? 10.Canada turns how old this year? Good luck!