Wednesday, April 25, 2007

The Cookie Crumbles...

Time for a rant - remember (and it was pretty recent) when they use to sell cookie packages with the paper rows that basically folded down on each other? It was easy to get the cookies out with the package upright! Now what do they do? They use a plastic tray, and shrink wrap it. Why do they always mess with a good thing. When I want my English Ginger Snaps, I don't want to have to put the package horizontal, and then fight with some unbreakable shrink wrap to get to my cookies! It's stupid! What's next, opening a can of salmon to find it saran wrapped? Maybe jelly beans need to be individually coated in transparent stretchy seal too! After all, we wouldn't want to be able to get the very things we want without a 10 round fight with non bio-degradable packaging products. Let's fill up the landfill some more, why don't we. Pop cans, superfluous cookie package wrappings, and all those DVD's of An Inconvenient Truth that didn't sell are going to overflow the garbage trucks on their way to seagull-flock infested dumping grounds that will fill to mountainous proportions till the garbage blocks out the sun and we have to tunnel through a refuse stained post apocalyptic groundswell of doom until we get past Thunderdome and get a gallon of gas from Tina Turner to fuel my unkillable rebuilt Dodge so that I can go all Mad Max (and do it even better than Mel Gibson) on their asses! Then I will conquer the world and rule the remaining lugnuts and despicable despots of marketing miscues with an iron fist and there will be no more shrink wrapped cookie trays disguised in vertical packaging! We will have cookie sanity once again, or I will dispatch my pastry security officer, The Cookie Monster on the nitwits. And then I'll dispatch Elmo to let Oscar the Grouch loose on the barren wasteland and he will remove the garbage problem so that there will be peace in the world once again. And to think, it could all be avoided if they didn't mess with my Ginger Snap packaging. Morons...

Comments on "The Cookie Crumbles..."


Anonymous originallru said ... (April 25, 2007 1:12 PM) : 

LOL... preach on brother!


Blogger Eaglewing said ... (April 25, 2007 11:31 PM) : 

Well, somebody has to :)


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